Dear Allen and Boyce,

Today, you're 12 years-old. (Actually, by the time I finished writing this entry, it was past midnight, so you're technically 12 years-old and one day.) The next six years of your life will whirl by in an instance, and before you know it, you'll be busy filling out college applications and looking forward to getting out from underneath our roof. We've talked about all these things before, but they bear repeating and committing to written form.

The single most important thing in life is to know unconditional love. Your dad and I will always love you, without exception.  When you're out in the world choosing with whom to share your life, ask yourself, do I love this person no matter what, and do they love me with the same conviction?  If the answer is yes, you'll always be surrounded by people of great loyalty and character, and there will be no limit to what you can accomplish.

Feel compassion for those who don't know unconditional love. They present in the world as bullies or that kid who always acts up in class or that coworker who always complains or that snooty neighbor, but really they are people who just don't feel very good about themselves and are doing all they know to do to make the bad feelings go away. When you realize that their behavior just means they're hurting, it's much easier to realize they have no power over you.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with the worthiness of the person on the receiving end. It's about you making a decision to let go of negativity. Life is too short to hold grudges, and harboring ill feelings toward another human being is a waste of energy. Forgive and move on. 

Respect and embrace differences. Remember the time we spent living in France being the oddballs and remember how much it meant to us when people went out of their way to be kind. Always be good ambassadors of your family, your employer, your country, your faith, and your philosophy. 

Know that, in life, there rarely is a clear cut right answer. Do your due diligence, make your choice, and confidently move forward. 

When you make a mistake -- and I want you to make plenty -- say you're sorry, do everything you can to rectify the situation, and learn not to make that mistake again.

At some point, you're going to have to choose, is it better to be right or to have friends?

Do things that make you happy. Dance at weddings. Sing at concerts. Take that art class when you really should be taking that physics class. Play hooky from work occasionally to spend more time with your family. 

Wearing unwrinkled clothes that match matters...always...regardless of the situation. Along the same lines, good manners count. People always notice these things, whether they realize it or not. 

Know how to cook at least three good meals from scratch. Microwaved hotdogs do not count. There will always be opportunities to impress someone with your culinary talents. 

Remember the order of life we've been telling you since you were wee ones:  graduate high school, go to college, go to graduate school, then get married, and then have babies.  Any other order is unacceptable.

And, finally, know that you've already made your dad and me the proudest parents in the world. We can't wait to see what fine young men you'll grow into and what paths your lives will take you down.  Stay close and look out for your brother.

Love always (no matter what),

Mom