If this is your first visit to my blog, you might want to start with my first entry, "How I got here - the short version".

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Festivus for the rest of us

First, a few disclaimers:  I struggled this year with what I wanted to be my responsibilities for Christmas and had a hard time balancing those expectations with my new normal energy level. Last year was so much easier.  I was going through chemo and had a bald head.  This year I have color in my cheeks and a full head of hair.  My only expectation of myself during the Christmas festivities last year was to show up.  This year, I thought I had scaled back from my pre-cancer life.  I thought I had kept it simple.  In actuality, I wore myself out.

Another disclaimer, the next couple of paragraphs have no bearing on my great affection for the friends and family with whom I shared Christmas.  They are merely my reflection of my frustrations (and fear) of where I am.

I think next year I'm boycotting Christmas and maybe taking a family vacation instead. Paul, the boys and I just had the nicest trip to DC for four nights. We did exactly what we wanted to do when we wanted to do it, and someone else did all the cooking and cleaning and driving. If only we'd added a few days on the front end to incorporate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  (Again, absolutely no reflection of those with whom we shared those two days.)

Two sets of friends we hadn't seen in a month of Sundays each drove at least two hours to join us for brunch on Sunday in DC.  And, we finished off the trip Sunday night with a nice Malbec at a Brazilian steakhouse and watched the boys stuff themselves silly with carnivorous delights.

Life is short (perhaps shorter for some than others). Do what makes you happy. 


Happy Festivus!



P.S.  I have my next PET scan January 2nd.  I should have the results by January 7th.

2 comments:

  1. Happy New Year Beth. Perhaps you've beaten many of us to discover the true meaning of Christmas, and I wouldn't mind doing the same next year - if this year is anything like last, which I hope not!!! Many doors will be open to you and yours in Alsace if you decide to spend it across the pond ... don't forget!

    Fingers crossed ... and very much love xxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Beth,

    Wishing you a happy and above all a healthy new year, for you and your family.

    Your 4 days holiday sounded lovely and I'm sure that having spent the few days of Christmas with family first it made a nice change for your family! I long too to be able one day to do just what I like, have a holiday without the worries of planning, cleaning/preparing, cooking etc! It's fun when people are here, but not really relaxing. I'm so happy for you that you enjoyed your trip so much.

    Bless you Beth, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow with fingers crossed, sending good vibes for good results.
    Love Angela

    ReplyDelete