A bump in the road

There’s no easy, eloquent way to put this.  My cancer has recurred.  It does seem small and localized, and, most importantly, treatable.

Yes, I just reported a clear PET scan, so my announcement may seem odd.  But, it wasn’t until my gynecological oncologist examined me last week that she found a very small tumor in my vaginal opening, just below the urethra, flying under the radar of the PET scan.  Sorry for the indelicate language, but that’s just how it is with gyn cancers.

Next week, I begin a 10-day course of radiation treatment, highly focused just on the spot where the tumor is.  After that, I might have one other radiation treatment that must be done in the OR, with me under sedation.  Additionally, I’ll probably start a course of Tamoxifen, an oral cancer drug that will hopefully mop up any additional little cancer cells that might be roaming around out there.

I’m over five years into remission, and I can’t believe I’m here again fighting the cancer monster.  Yes, I’m concerned, and sometimes at night after everyone’s gone to bed and I’m alone with my thoughts, I feel a little lost.  Mostly, however, I’m just pissed to have to take on this battle again.  Or, maybe it’s more of a skirmish compared with last time.  Either way, it’s not the way I want to be spending my time.

But, there’s no option but to move forward.  So here I move, over this bump in the road.

A great way to start the school year

I just received my ninth clear PET scan report since completing chemo, nearly six years ago.  Whew!  I had a little bit of a scare and had several days of nervous waiting, but I’m all clear!

In those few days I let my thoughts go to some dark places.  What if my sons have to spend their senior year with their mother going through chemo again?  How many of those “last” moments would I have to miss while recovering in my well worn recliner, as the rest of the world continued to spin around me?  How much would my husband, Paul, have to pick up the slack while he also focused his attention on his job?

What a gift to spend the first week of school getting good news about my health!  I’m prepared for all those footballs games, fencing tournaments, Eagle Scout projects, college applications, and just plain simple dinners around the table together.  (I just wish those senior pictures turned out better.)

Bring on senior year!  I’m ready!