I think I could stand in front of my sink and gently coax out every single hair on my head. Two weeks out from my first chemo treatment...I've always been an overachiever.
I wore my wig yesterday for a bit around the house, just getting used to the feel of it. Paul is tickled with the fact that it's from the Rachel Welch line, since she has been his heart throb for many, many years. The boys didn't even notice it wasn't my real hair. It is cute, and I do like it a lot.
Truly, my main concern about my hair loss isn't my own vanity. I'm worried about worrying my mom. Today, we head to the farm for Thanksgiving, and I'll be spending a few days with her. Mom is 81 now, and dementia is setting in. She struggles with her short term memory, and she doesn't quite seem to have processed what's going on with me. To be fair, my brother and I haven't told her all the details of my illness because we know she will have limited ability to understand. Hair loss, though, I think she'll understand, and I'm concerned about her ability to cope with a more concrete idea of what I'm going through.
This is the first time in this journey that I've not quite felt up to the task at hand, but once again I pray, give me strength and give me peace.
On a very positive note, my dear friend Debbie arrived yesterday from London. For those of you who don't know the story, Debbie and I became pen pals when we were ten through an ad I found in the back of the National Geograpic kids' magazine. As adults, we've been able to meet numerous times, and while I was living in France, we'd get together several times a year. This is the first time I've seen her since we moved back, so it will be wonderful to spend time with her. She loves our American Thanksgiving and is a great comfort to me just by being here.
So, there still are blessings for which to be thankful.
I am so glad Debbie could come for a visit. I remember the delicacies she helped put together for the "tea party" at your house years ago. Those intricate bites were amazing! I remember your mom was in attendance. She's a sharp and witty lady, I am sorry to hear she is going through that, especially when you need her most.
ReplyDeleteSending love and prayers your way for a happy and peaceful Thanksgiving.
Patty
Beth- you are such a wonderful daughter to worry about your Mom's reaction to your chemo hair loss. I'm praying that she won't even notice that you are wearing a wig and it will be a non-issue. My father has been through cancer 2 times in the past 4 years. That included 2 rounds of chemo plus radiation. He shared with me how surprised he was at his own vanity about losing his hair. It's so human! We identify with our appearance-it's part of us. The good news is that it comes back!!! This is just temporary. I think about you daily-have a blessed Thanksgiving with your precious family.
ReplyDeleteLove, Donna
Dear Beth,
ReplyDeleteGreat that your friend is there to be with you, I love the American thanksgiving celebrations/meal which I got to know with some American families living in Germany, we had great fun.
Think as Donna said above, if your mum can just think the wig is your own hair, it may be the easiest solution? If your boys even thought it was your own, you must be able to fool your mum!
Good luck with that! Wishing you happy Thanksgiving, have a lovely time with all your family.
Love Angela